It wuz all Tubby Joe Stottlemeyer's idea to start with. Shoot, I wouldn't even’a thought about nuthin' like that on my own.
Ol’ Tubb done come with the idea to have us a weenie roast over on Lennox Lake. Now, it's two ways a body can put one of them things together. One of'em is to buy all the weenies yore ownself, and the other'n is for everbody that comes to bring his own. Since me'n Ol’ Tubb didn't have no money to buy no weenies with, we just naturally decided that everbody ought'a bring his own.
Well, we wuz goin' to have the thing on Saturday night and it wuz already Thursday so we started spreadin' the word around at the schoolhouse there in Watson. That way everbody that amounted to anythin' would know 'bout it and be there when it got dark on Saturday. Shoot, everthin' wuz goin' smoother'n sorgum molasses on a biscuit.
I asked Clara Sue to go with me and Tubb had done asked Sugar Mae to go with him. We all decided we'd go together since it wuzn't no problem gettin' all four of us in my daddy's pick-up truck. You see, we set kind'a close together in them days anyway.
We spread the word around purty good'n then Saturday morning me'n Tubb took ourselves out to Lennox Lake to pile up some ol’ dead limbs and stuff so we could have a good fire to roast them weenies over. Now, pickin' up wood ain't usually somethin' a feller talks about all that much, but I reckon I have to tell you that we had to be purty careful in just how we gathered that stuff. Some of them ol’ limbs had grub worms in'em and we had to scrape them rascals off. The most of them ol’ girls we knowed didn't like to eat no weenies and look at grub worms at the same time.
I had to hand it to ol’ Tubb. He finally come up with a good idea'n things looked like they wuz goin' to work out different than the way his ideas usually worked out. You see, Ol’ Tubb didn't have too good a record when it come to carryin' out his ideas.
We done picked up Clara Sue and Sugar May purty early so we could get out to the lake and build a good fire for roastin' them weenies. We had done built ourselves a nice big'un before the first truck load showed up'n I think Ol’ Tubb had done'n eat four or five of them weenies 'fore the rest of’em got there.
Anyhow, 'bout all the folks we expected showed up and gathered theirselves 'round that fire and roasted weenies like they wuz supposed to. Everbody wuz a singin' and a havin' fun. Lordy mercy, it couldn't get no better than it wuz. I don't reckon I ever saw Ol’ Tubb prouder'n he wuz at that weenie roast, 'cept maybe when he first met Sugar Mae on a hay ride some while before that. Folks, I'm here to tell you that Ol’ Tubb looked happier'n a ol’ Poland China hawg in a slop eatin' contest.
Just like any other idea ol’ Tubb ever come up with though, this'un had to go wrong. Lookin' back on it, I don't see how it wuz as good as it wuz for as long as it wuz. I'm here to tell you that things started goin' wrong. The weenie roast wuz near 'bout over and it wuzn't no way out of it.
It wuz a bunch of them ol’ boys from over in the Scatters that snuck theirselves up in the dark and nobody in our bunch knowed it. How they ever found out about our bein' there I don't know. They knowed it though.
Folks, they had done snuck theirselves up to the side from us that wuz upwind and they knowed exactly what they wuz doin'. They had done and made theirselves what must'a been the most rotten egg gas that wuz ever collected in one place in all the history of it put together. Folks, they turned that stuff loose on us.
I got myself a little whiff of it and looked over at Clara Sue, she had done smelt it and looked over at Sugar Mae, and Sugar Mae had done got a bunch of it, and looked over at Tubby Joe. Tubby Joe wuz eatin' on anuther weenie and he thought he had a bad'un. It got worse'n that 'fore it wuz over.
Well, in about a minute or two it wuz awful. They wuz folks a runnin' around all over the place. Some of'em got in their trucks, some of'em run off and left their trucks, and the rest of'em forgot that they had a truck to start with. I had done lost Clara Sue somewhere out there in the dark, Sugar Mae wuz standin' 'bout waist deep in the lake, and Pore Ol’ Tubb wuz chasein' one of them Scatters boys.
Tubb never did catch that ol’ boy, but he did manage to grab the "S" off his ball jacket. I found Clara Sue in Daddy's truck tryin' to fan that stink out, and Sugar Mae had to ride home in wet britches.
It must'a been a couple'a months later that Ol’ Tubb come up with the idea to have a fish fry and he spread the news around the schoolhouse there in Watson, but it wouldn't nobody pay no attention to him.